Join or Judge

This a powerful technique to check in with people and help them make better decisions.

Join or Judge is similar to Help or Hinder, but is *just* different enough to merit providing this for you and this is better used by pulling a person aside for a moment.

Many people would rather sit back and criticize – judge – instead of joining in and stepping ‘outside their comfort zone’ and ‘Join’.

Do not be upset by this.  It is completely natural and normal because we have been taught that judging is perfectly acceptable behavior while joining is mocked, “Looks like James drank the Kool-Aid.

Instead, pull that person aside and ask them in a very compassionate tone:

James, you don’t need to answer, but consider carefully – are you joining the group or judging the group right now?

Be quiet for just a moment while they consider it and then continue:

I would very much like you to further join the group.  If you feel you cannot and continue to judge, please do not say your judgements out loud.  Is that fair?

For a group version of Join or Judge, consider using the Two Wolves parable.

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